Tale of the Precious Stone

At 1 a.m. on International Pirate Day, 9/19/08, Bob woke up with a stabbing pain on the left side of his lower back as if he had been stabbed by the sword of Captain Jack Sparrow or strangled by the tentacles of Davy Jones. 911 was hailed and he was transported via ambulance to the Aurora Bay Medical Center in Green Bay. He was met there by an ER pirate crew who looked like they had just stepped off the Black Pearl. It was suspected that he was holding treasure…..stones, that is, precious kidney stones. The pirate crew wanted them bad so they strapped him to a gurney and buzzed him with their special treasure locator (CT). The treasure map told them that it would be a while so they chained him with an ID bracelet, put him in the hole and waited for the booty they wanted. After 2 days, he cooperated and was freed. Let’s hope there is not a sequel.